Sulaiman Baba
I am Nupe
Marriage in Nupe Culture
Among the Nupes, marriage is a sacred inst-
itution which is contracted between a man and a
woman. The two people involved are referred to
as “eba yawo and yawo” meaning husband and
wife.
In the earlier Nupe tradition, young boys and girls
did not on their own choose who to marry. This
arrangement was left for the two families to
decide on behalf of their children. However, this
has changed significantly over the last three
decades. Young boys and girls now meet and
agree with one another before they involve their
parents. However, one thing is very clear, the
practice follows mutual understanding, consent
and approval of both parents. It is against this
background that when the boy’s family wants to
ask for the hand in marriage of a girl (desire to
marry their daughter) to their son that one of the
elders or a family friend (Rinna) is sent on
delegate mission to meet with the girl’s family.
The Rinna is very important in Nupe marriage; he
is the intermediary between the two families,
though with paramount interest of the boy’s
family.
At the inception of negotiations, the Rinna goes to
see the girl’s family on a mission called “Egi wa”
meaning seeking for marriage of a girl. This
mission is accompanied with Kola-nut and some
money as evidence. The girl’s family collects the
items and a reply will follow sooner or later. This
is marked by the distribution of these Kola-nuts
and money (no matter how little) to immediate
family members and distant relations of the girl’s
family announcing that their daughter Miss A is
now blessed with a husband, which the family
after due consultations and investigations will
finally approve of.
Bride and GroomBride and Groom FeedingThe next
stage now is for the Rinna to broad-cast same to
the boy’s family that mission has been
accomplished, marking a good begin-ning.
Therefore, the boy and his friends will now carry
on a special visit called “emisa” (greetings) to the
girl’s family to show appreciation for such
approval. This visit affords members of the girl’s
family to know their son – in – law. The period
usually attracts a lot of jokes from older women
in the girl’s compound who will claim to be the
first wife, hence, a big challenge for their future
bridegroom or son-in-law. Infact, some will even
go ahead to assess in joking pattern, his
completion, physique and handsome looks. That
is not a problem, as majority of Nupe people have
similar looks – handsome, sociable and peace-
loving. In the post-jihadist movement, there has
been no reported communal, religious, ethnic or
political upheaval of any magnitude in Nupeland.
Hence, Nupe people are models in peaceful
coexistence.
The subsequent stages are related to the wedding
plans. These start with the negotiation of “Ewo
yawo”(bride – price) which differs from one Nupe
zone to another but majority are in accordance
with the tenets of Islam. After a specific amount
is agreed upon, the Rinna ensures prompt
payment and other charges are set aside like
“Godiyagi” (small thanks) and “Godiyako” (big
thanks). The amounts are used to show
appreciation to relatives and the girl’s parents
respectively. The later in addition to other
resources the girl’s parents can afford are used to
acquire wedding gifts such as plates, cooking
utensils, dresses and new cloths for their beloved
daughter. Any sacrifice in this direction is not too
much. This is because in Nupe custom there is a
wise saying that “The daughter of a bride must
also become a bride” many women look forward
to this land-mark event in their lives. When all the
conditions are fulfilled and the girl reaches
puberty and is assumed “matured” to undertake
maternal responsibilities, the Rinna meets with
the boy’s family to decide on the month of the
year they want the marriage ceremony. He then
communicates this to the girl’s family who will
give approval after due consultations with other
family members. Finally, a specific date is fixed in
the approved month and the wedding proper is
arranged.
Traditional DanceOn the night preceding the
wedding date, the girl is formally initiated into
marriage “yaworufa dan”. This date in the 19th
Century up to the early 20th Century, is kept
secret and the girl does not know about it.
However, things have since changed, that not
only are Kola-nuts distributed to all well-wishers
from both sides openly, but also, the introduction
of invitation card in accordance with the dictates
of modern civilization characterizes Nupe
marriage in the 21st Century.
On the wedding date, Mu’alims (Islamic scholars)
are invited by the girl’s parents to carry out the
solemnization of their children’s wedding fatiha
with representatives of the boy’s family in
attendance and other well-wishers present to
bear witness and share the joy of the occasion.
After the pronouncement of the couple as
husband and wife, celebrations follow all through
the night. In some families, Islamic preaching is
observed all night, while in a majority, beating of
drums and folk songs are engaged in with well
wishers joining the families in celebrations. Late
in the evening of the wedding fatiha, the new
bride is prepared for the journey to her husband’s
home. She goes round relatives to bid them
farewell, that emotional moment is not always
easy for both the bride and the parents as tears
and prayers flow freely. Others give her final
counselling and guidance for a successful
marriage life. Then the parents finally handover
the girl to Rinna (yawogo) and she is usually
accompanied by a little girl and another married
woman to her new home.
Nupe musiciansIn the new home she is received
into a newly prepared room by the groom’s
family. Here, another round of celebrations
continue for the next 24 hours. This time around,
it is merry making galore and the atmosphere
becomes charged with dancing and singing as the
common feature. In the traditional age-old Nupe
culture, this ceremony may last between 5-7
days. But nowadays, the entire ceremony is
completed within 24-48 hours. Several traditional
practices in Nupe marriage have been jettisoned
due to the enlightment created by Islamic
preaching and educational programmes.
In Christian communities, church wedding
systems are adopted based on the teachings of
each denomination. However, varying degrees of
celebrations are observed in terms of
entertainment and support by friends, family and
well-wishers.
Curtesy: Nupekingdom.com
Insightful
ReplyDelete